It’s only sex before marriage if you get married.
Just never get married, problem solved
Or get married to jesus and then you’ve been married. Adultery is only a sin in the old testament along with eating pork.
Or wait until some other people get married on your behalf
You’re allowed to have sex before marriage if your fellow Jehova’s Witnesses jump up and down on the bed and your genitals accidentally fit together.
Jehova’s Witnesses
thought this was mormons…?
Same difference, innit?
different lyrics but similar tunes
What about a friendly prostate exam among friends?
all clear, bible never said you can’t finger blast the homies a little
I was raised catholic, and all i can say is how often I heard the priests say: “let us prey.”
Settle down Kurp
Just soaking it all in
You uh got any links?
Since “all dogs go to heaven” isn’t mentioned in the bible but is generally accepted christian doctrine, it’s actually dogma, which is way funnier.
all dogma go to heaven?
If the gang calls me a dog before they rail me in every position they want, does that count too?
https://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY?list=RDj8ZF_R_j0OY
Can’t believe I’m the one posting the video.
Lazy so-and-sos.
It’s what I thought of immediately.
deleted by creator
Seriously! I thought I was going to have to link it.
It’s the
✨Poop hole loophole✨i do knot see a problem with this logic
So that’s why they call it an analogy
I dated a few Christian girls, and just let me say, they can be pretty freaky.
The internet really has a talent for turning wordplay into “logic” like this. Not exactly theology, but definitely creative humor.
it’s a joke
The Bible is bullshit, heaven doesn’t exist, God is an imaginary friend who is sadistic AF.
Wow. Thank you for providing us with this mindblowing breakthrough, I’m sure that every Christian will immediately renounce their faith when they stumble into this comment.
Religion shouldn’t get attention in any way imo. Same goes for dumb idiots like Andrew Tate. Negative attention is still attention. We all know it’s stupid contradicting stuff which makes no sense.
This is breaking news
Guess I’m going to heaven 😎
Not because of this post, but because no sex
Me too, but because I’m a bitch.
I assume you aren’t married, so you can’t rule out the possibility just yet.
All puppy girls go to heaven
>:3
What’s a puppy girl?
Its a gender affirming phenomena where (mainly) trans girls identify as puppy girls. I’m just a furry
Nice 👍
You can’t go to hell or heaven, because they don’t exist.
That being said anal sex is still best sex.
🎶 Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus 🎶
Needs to be updated for the 2022 Supreme Court decision…
This tracks about as much as soaking/jump humping or “sabbath mode”, so fucken go for it.
Soaking is the craziest loophole I’ve ever heard of. I still refuse to believe it’s real.
What i love about the jump-humping thing is I’ve heard it involves a third party to move the bed for you, making it just the weirdest threesome.
