I sometimes think about how other people have less happy relationships than mine, and that makes me sad for them
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I remember hearing all the boomer “take my wife…please! Ole ball and chain” jokes growing up. I fuckin love my husband. I love being married. I feel bad for people who think resenting their spouse is the default. I get to touch butt pretty much whenever I want.
I think the key is remembering to be grateful that you can have sex whenever you want
You can? What kind of marriage is that? 😅
Edit: the only thing the boomer comments got right about my marriage is the lack of sex, other than that we are super happy and have absolute zero regrets
I have noticed that my desire for sex in general went way down after my fiancée and I got serious. My understanding is that what messes other couples up is that you kinda need to schedule romance after a while; at least, it seems like that based on how often my grandma took me on hours-long trips to Barnes and Noble as a kid until she got the all-clear text from my mom that it was safe for me to come home.
Whole new angle on the grandmother hypothesis
Tbh as a kid I only thought it was a bit odd that mom and dad seemed much more cuddly after my B&N trips, but didn’t give it any more thought than that until I was an adult
My partner and I both say that we’re better than being alone. And we both LOVE being alone.
I love being alone together with my wife
My partner will sit and read quietly in the room while I’m playing games and not interact with each other and it’s the fucking best.
Same but with check-ins every 15-30 minutes. Usually a “whatcha doin” or a surprise hug or kiss.
Got a partner who pays half the bills, does half the laundry, cooks half the food, washes half the dishes. Even without sex, it’s an absolute win.
But you consume twice as much food, have twice as much laundry, and so on.
Yeah but then zero of many things.
I may do double dishes. But zero baking and I’m rewarded with cookies randomly.
I may do double cleaning. But zero when it comes to buying gifts and cards for people, because she loves doing that. And I get to reap all the benefits.
Absolutely this. I suck at cooking but my wife is great at it. She hates doing dishes but I really don’t mind.
Economies of scale
Plus specialization
My husband does all the dishes and I do all the laundry. It’s an absolute win for both of us.
More recent generations have much better emotional intelligence than previous ones. We’re consistently getting better at things like communication and being aware of our own feelings, which makes marriage a lot better.
I always heard growing up that once you stop fighting, the marriage is in trouble. Which, frankly, is bullshit. The marriage is in trouble when you stop communicating, but that doesn’t mean you have to constantly fight. It’s possible to work out differences before they build up and explode.
It’s still difficult at times, but yeah, marriage is rad if you both commit to being great communicators.
Glad it’s worked well for the original OP.
I still remember reading in the book “Thinking Fast and Slow” and the research they presented on happiness. Apparently their data averaged out to: 1. baseline happiness when single, 2. big spike up in the first year of marriage, 3. Settles at a permanent level below the baseline (from when single).
The main problem is that making a happy marriage stay happy takes a lot of daily work. Thankfully my parents showed me how to do that, and more importantly my dad showed me how to make it fun.
Your dad sounds wise. Knowledge like that still isn’t widespread, and back then even less so. There are no role models teaching/showing/demonstrating this in real life or in media that I have come across.
Or just live together without getting your official government approval certificate
In the US at least:
What if they get seriously injured? How will you have rights about their care? To go and see them? What if you have great insurance, but they don’t?
Marriage has tons of benefits over being unmarried, right or wrong. Plus, I enjoyed getting married. I also enjoy being married. Life is hard. My wife always has my back.
Could have done this much cheaper with a dog.
You can’t fuck a dog though
The sublime difference between “can’t” and “shouldn’t”.
Not with that attitude
Did they not love you before you got married? Only thing that changed for me was -£10k
