You know you shouldn’t joke about these things. These are very serious matters. You’re very lucky and privileged, but some people really struggle. We’ve tried our best to provide you with everything and give you a comfortable life, but don’t forget how hard others have it. You don’t appreciate all this or appreciate us. We still need to talk about your grades by the way.

Here’s an organ harvesting guide if one is needed.

Alternatively if it has any life left in it, it can always be turned into a PC (or server like you mention).

The problem I have is that there’s no endpoint that will convince people that this isolationist/protectionist way of thinking is harmful to their own interests. England still isn’t going to admit this about Brexit. Let’s see how America fares.

I cannot think of any scenario which makes someone forget what they were in the middle of doing, when microwaving 1kg of ground beef immediately before a flight. WTF

Best I can do is the washing machine. No one had ever called their step brother for help with getting stuck in the microwave.

20 cigarettes is healthier than 500 cigarettes, so I’m going to use that and be healthy.

I did have a day. Thanks.

You’re right. Witch’s curse seems more likely.

By going away on holiday and forgetting to throw away perishables beforehand… Or maybe a witch’s curse.

The movie is great and well worth watching.

This note has a very “or else” vibe.

Shit, my comment is taken.

Wholesome.

Although the timeline does not mention sliced bread and this reduces its credibility.

If I were dying, or lost my job, or had a bereavement; I would find any one of these to be incredibly comforting:

May the force be with you

Live long and prosper

Here’s looking at you kid

My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get

You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain

Cowabanga

Apes together strong

If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you’re already dead.

You have my sword, and my bow, and my axe.

Why do we fall sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.

I live my life a quarter mile at a time.

I’ll be back

Which would be worse, to live a monster or to die a good man

“This date could go one of two ways”

Thanks for taking away my enjoyment. Now I need to find something I can enjoy that does count as theft.

See myself in a Teams meeting. Try to get rid of my resting bitch face. It somehow comes back again in 2 min.

This inflicts chip damage.

You can put down a small tub or mug to catch the room temp water to use for something else. I run water into a mug and use that to wash my kid’s asses after their bedtime poop. I mix bubble bath into the remaining room temp water in the mug for the kids to play with when showering. Then they can get straight into the tub and warm water will come from the showerhead right away.

There are tons of uses for the room temp water…water plants, fill the iron, fill the floor mop bucket, etc.

And the lie of someone getting knocked on the head and passing out for an hour. If you’re unconscious for that long after a head injury, then you’re not going to wake up again.