Granted, I was a late bloomer, an incel until I went from Codependents Anonymous in my mid twenties into the local kink community, and again, into the hands of women who knew what they wanted, and I was still cute enough to be that at least to some of them.

The other factor is that I’ve been crazy all my life and in the psychiatric sector all my adult life (even to the point of doing peer counseling based on raw experience). But it means when there’s drama, when someone has dark stabby secrets, is divergent or has a split personality dissociative identity or something, I don’t even blink, and we’re back to clothes being pulled off again.

My guess is most of us are just looking not to be rejected out of hand over something trivial, or more accurately, to be able to be ourselves without our partner screaming and running off into the night, and any time I could be the guy who didn’t do that, I was usually getting laid followed by invites to come live with her. At least I was looking for [just someone with whom I could be myself mask-off]. Granted hormone addled young adults may think they want more than that, but I got over it really quickly.