This is ahorrible idea, you can’t catch ashes in a butterfly net.

You need to use a wood chipper instead of the crematorium. Much larger pieces, much easier to catch.

I used to want to have my corpse frozen, then loaded into the pilot seat of a fake alien landing shuttle, complete with a computer system and books written in “alien language” that’s really just complicated code version of my will, and pushed off a transport plane to fall somewhere such as Antarctica or Greenland, to be covered with snow and ice for decades before someone randomly found it. Absolute win for conspiracy shit, and would be fun to be a random surprise like that.

I no longer have this plan because 1. I can’t afford it and 2. We don’t really get significant new ice anymore. We just lose old ice.

Every good funeral ends with us all taking pieces of them home stuck in our hair. Taste better than nuclear winter, not as good as volcanic ash… must be marighost

When I have enough money and want to die, I’ll buy a bunch of burial plots next to one another and have them all excavated. My loved ones will paint a ring of color around each one. Then I’ll skydive with a squirrel suit on - red for 10 points, blue for 5 and white for 1. There’ll be a booky on site.

Everyone I knew will be at the wake. As the first of my friends and family approach the casket, they let out a gasp. The casket is empty. Suddenly, the lights go out. The Space Jam Theme Song begins to play as the room is illuminated with disco balls and a laser light show. The lights reveal my body is swinging from a ceiling fan in the center of the room. Funerals are too depressing, and I want mine to be a celebration of life. No money is mentioned in my will, it is all going to the open bar

elefun

MEMORY UNLOCKED

Millennial (maybe Gen X too?) funeral in a nutshell.

Lotsa fun :D