The better one chip challenge

Thank you. I found a few other Lovecraftian covers, but they are overwhelmingly of Jolene or Christmas carols for some reason. Do you know of any others?

More!

Just get some Baja Blast and mix in your own liquor. Much tastier

At least in PG, that is explicitly not the case, unless I’m misunderstanding:

Similarly, a PL/pgSQL loop of the form FOR x IN query LOOP … END LOOP will never use a parallel plan, because the parallel query system is unable to verify that the code in the loop is safe to execute while parallel query is active.

https://www.postgresql.org/docs/current/when-can-parallel-query-be-used.html

At any rate, I feel like it’s questionable design to have a user making row-by-row decisions on hard deletes.

You can just insert directly to the helper/audit table, and delete using it, no need for the cursor loop. If you need a handle to go through the records one by one, something else has already gone wrong.