I normally don’t read usernames, so I got fucking brain fried trying to figure out what a Finjamin is

Like, it looks like a word I should remember but it isn’t even a word

“honest to god that’s as far as I can go”

You have to retroactively do what I did and cripple your attention span to a point where if you see any piece of text longer than a few sentences, your brain just automatically skips past it

I wanted to see my recommendations :{

Not rooted, or flashing a custom ROM, so I can’t delete the play store.

Also, my bank app wasn’t installing properly from Aurora. I don’t remember what the exact issue was, but it was too much of a hassle to figure out (or change banks)

But that second profile idea is smart

I should have done that

organic recommendations:

apps for which I already have F-Droid equivalents installed

sponsored recommendations:

WE HAVE DETERMINED BY YOUR DIGITAL FINGERPRINT THAN YOU ARE A GOONER. PLEASE DOWNLOAD LITERAL MALWARE:

Depending on how serious you are:

Choose weed instead

Or the crisis line. You probably already know where to find it. Help is available. You do not have to suffer alone. I love you homie.

man, imagine getting blackout the first time and it ends up in the NYT

so fucked up what they did to this homie

News crew pronounced it that way on purpose with a straight face.

Pure dedication. How many takes did they need for that?

You’re not wrong, although I feel like the implication in this context was slightly more antagonistic.

i.e. “It’s only a matter of time before she leaves your sorry ass”

I had a colleague from overseas looking to visit Soweto

I said something to the effect of “Brother why would you do that, don’t you have a family?”

But apparently there are legitimate tour programmes that go in there now. Super safe for visitors. I had no clue.

I mean, you still basically get robbed by the tour company, but if you’re used to dollars or euros, you probably won’t even notice.

I like this one because you can append prefixes and suffixes to it

Fat ass in the tall grass

Asshole in the grasshole

etc.

SHIT BRO LOOK OUT

A GANG OF LINUX KERNEL CONTRIBUTORS ARE APPROACHING YOUR HOUSE

THEY’RE HAULING AN IMPROVISED MRI SCANNER

you make a good point

where do I sign

I have a really bad credit score

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2013

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1995

idk I’m not sure

tbf I took a quick glance through some other years and they all had major tragedies

cheapcokeandnudecelebs4free.onion

Or in a more immature reading, cialis

Ive watched better call Saul and breaking bad, so I bet I can translate this:

The masculine grandma robbed the sex couch

dear creator(s)

please let the citizens of the USA win a crippling class action lawsuit against Amazon it would be so fucking funny

I ask this in the name of whichever holy figure is the correct one

amen/inshallah/namaste etc.

(I’m an atheist, but I guess it can’t hurt to try)

At that point, instead of providing ID, you provide your desired expletives

like what are they gonna do

they claim to not know who you are

leafblowers suck

they literally do the opposite u idot 😤😡