Yeah, my response to this argument is always the same: I work in IT, how do I barter for potatoes? If you’re a potato farmer, how many potatoes is a hip transplant worth? Maybe assigning worth to things with an abstract unit isn’t such a terrible idea after all…

Wait until they’re not looking to put on the wig. Otherwise it’s kinda a bit weird.

Gary forgot the five Ibuprofen.

You eat cigarettes?

Some more:

• Smoking while observing a sheep.
• Smoking on the dancefloor at the hippest discotheque in town.
• Smoking while threading the film into the stedicam rig on the set of the Stanley Kubrick film The Shining (1980).
• Smoking while performing open-heart surgery.
• Smoking while restarting the computers at the dinosaur park.
• Smoking while Niel and Buzz are down on the surface.
• Offering a cigarette to a dodo
• Stubbing out your cigarette after filling in a form which asks for your date of birth which is the 7th August 1968.

“Cats can keep secrets, but choose not to. Change my mind.”

Yeah, but some people shit thrice daily.

In seriousness, though, one of these type of sites looked like a scam but they warned me that my Driver Registry needed defragmentation to avoid WiFi Corruption and had a free download to fix it so, y’know, swings and roundabouts.

Steady on with that kind of comment, please. They might be sequoia fuckers.

Yeah, especially printers. Fuck printers.

Hotdogs also come in 12s. In jars of 12.

They should make a device that removes the need for waffle stomping. Like, maybe a separate fixture without a grille and with an aperture large enough to allow the solid loaf to pass straight through. Maybe integrate some kind of support to allow the user to comfortably assume and hold a squatting position. Oh, and a cleaning feature to wash the contents away.

“The Guide says there is an art to flying”, said Ford, “or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

• Douglas Adams

Sator Arepo tenet opera rotas.

Never use a dowel on your bowel.

.pdf.exe

When I get my own place there will be a urinal in the bathroom. Why wouldn’t there be one? So efficient.

Fuck YouTube, sure, but holy shit fuck any useless dipshit who plays music off YouTube as part of a public performance, especially a goddamn funeral. That’s disgusting. Utter incompetence and charlatanism to make that kind of lazy half-assed decision in that kind of situation.