qupada

The only one I got close on was I never had a chequebook of my own, but did on a couple of occasions use bank cheques for mail-ordered things.

Presuming we’re counting that, big fat goose egg.

Fully committing to the bit, their cafe sells penis-shaped waffles: https://www.phallus.is/phallic-cafe

My general advice to people when shopping for used printers is if it’s new enough to have a colour LCD, it’s too new. Ones like this with a 2x 16 character display are predominantly safe.

This rule holds for more manufacturers than you might expect.

For my sins, I did end up with an HP. But it’s a 2012 model (my specific one was built in 2017 however), well predating HP’s bullshit. It’s a colour A3 laser with Ethernet and automatic duplex, so I’m happy enough with it.

Hey! I’ve seen this story before!

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1498335/

This wasn’t the kind of life-imitating-art I was hoping for.