unalivejoy

Simon Petrikov talking to himself

A man went to the emergency room with a toy horse in his ass. The doctors described his condition as “stable.”

I’ll roleplay as your oppressor and you can revolt against me.

Adobe: “We’re here for all our starving artists”

Artist: Buys a Photoshop subscription instead of food

They are immortal and cannot reproduce.

I am AWAM (Assigned Windows at Manufacturer)

What about deconstructive criticism?

The other 38 users are bots.

Survivorship bias

It’s obviously an e

We sweat.

Not only do we sweat, we also don’t have fur. Bare skin is more efficient at evaporation and cooling than sweaty fur.

Assuming the position

Instead of an anus, there is a USB port.

You don’t need the tip. You’re getting a pollen bukakke.

Fine, I’ll start over.

There’s a solution to this. Reproduce before it becomes an issue.

Evolutionarily, it only matters that you reproduce.

When you’re a top without a bottom, go to Olive Garden.

Anyone who disagrees has never played Paper Mario.

All this computer hacking is hard work. I think I’ll have a tab.