This person clearly knows what they’re talking about.

“You double-dipped!”

“Yeah, bro, two coats always looks better.”

Under Tim Cook, Apple joined the Navy.

“There are fields. Endless fields. Where humans are no longer born, they are grown.”

On the downside, Niagara Falls isn’t that interesting anymore.

Well then that kid is going to have a bad childhood.

Carol: “Good evening, I’m Bland.”

Weatherman: “Don’t disparage yourself like that.”

This comment was written by Darth Maul.

“Clocks… adjusted?”

“Yes. Even the coffee maker.”

I need to watch Wrongfully Accused again.

Still more reliable than a Cybertruck.

We miss you, keyboard cat.

We are old gods who punish life for fun.

Also called a pineapple because who cares anymore?

Middle-eastern children: “I want to grow up and be educated.”

Santa: “Best I can do is a drone hitting your house.”

That may explain your gastrointestinal situation.

She likes to give ‘em the ol’ Rami Malek.

You’re on notice.

You accidentally described the plot of a Kobayashi Dragon Maid episode.