CachyOS, because I wanted something arch based due to the archi wiki and rolling releases.

My media boxes run Ubuntu, but that will change when they get rebuilt/replaced at some point, most likely to Debian

That appears to be hardware, not a distro

Are you mounting a FAT32 disk by any chance?

A femboy posted a meme about femboys. You came in and tried to tell him that actually, some of those femboys are trans women based on their appearance.

This was a misstep, but that’s OK, because mistakes happen and people’s understanding of gender diverse folk is often limited.

He then told you about his direct lived experience as a fem boy that contradicted your opinions. At this point, instead of listening to folk who are talking about their own experiences, you got offended and started arguing.

At this point, you’re simply out of line. Arguing with folk about their own experiences, whilst not even sharing those experiences.

This isn’t an argument about when it’s ok to assume and when it isn’t. This is a case of you assuming, being corrected, and then trying to turn it in to a debate.

And to be clear, I’m not simply asking you to stop, I’m asking you to consider what happened, acknowledge you fucked up, and then stop.

If I get it wrong I’ll be gladly corrected

You did get it wrong. The OP, a femboy who posted a meme about femboys, directly told you that you had it wrong.

You’re still here arguing, and show no sign of being open to being corrected. Unless that changes soon, your time on this instance is up.

I’d just re-install Windows over the top of the fucked up install normally. It was a bit easier to recover from, and a bit harder to fuck up

It was similar for me, but not quite the same. The thing I hated was starting from scratch. I’m very much not a distro hopper. Back in the day, I enjoyed the challenge of trying to troubleshoot issues and get the system working again, and that kept me interested, but eventually, I’d hit a problem I couldn’t resolve, and I’d have to start again from scratch, and at that point, I’d just go back to Windows.

Now, I still get to do the same thing. If I break it, I get to learn how I broke it and try and fix it, and I find that process compelling. But because I’m using btrfs restore points now, I don’t get to the point where I have to start again from scratch. So I can work at solving it to the limit of my abilities, with confidence that if I can’t work it out, it’s not a huge issue.

That also sounds like a good way to stop learning!

The “starting over” part is what made it take so long for linux to “stick” with me.

Once it became “restore from an earlier image”, it was a game changer!

I mean, I’m impressed that someone had the time to thoroughly try out all of those distros in two months to enable a meaningful comparison!

They way i read it their point, it was about people being aggressive in having their pronouns being respected, even in situations where there’s clearly no malice or when their pronouns just aren’t known

Yes, that’s what she’s angry about, but it’s not why she was banned.

why don’t you just ban them for a week, and send them a message that while there might be something to their point, generalizing the heck out of it and blaiming the new generation for everything isn’t the solution either, and not the best way to approach this discussion.

Because then she just comes back and slips under the radar, and I have no way of knowing if anything is changed, unless I follow up on it. If she wants to access the instance, she can approach me and we can talk about what it will take. It’s permanent in the sense that it won’t automatically expire, not in the sense that it can’t be removed.

Maybe a bit of empathy an genuine feedback can make them a good faith contributor that has similar experiences in their life?

You are more than welcome to make that attempt and have that discussion, however, in my experience, mods and admins reaching out after bans to try and have these conversations don’t change opinions, they just further inflame the sense of injustice the person is feeling.

I don’t have the resources or will to try and manually talk around every person who throws around bigotry for what they believe are genuine reasons, nor to expose the rest of the community to gatekeeping whilst they “work through it”. And honestly, most folk who feel as strongly as she does aren’t open to being talked around in any case.

Aren’t you afraid of just creating an echo chamber where no criticism is possible at all?

In a world where we are being erased, attacked, harassed and turned in to political footballs, where every major social media platform has explicitly green lit attacks and harassment on us, concerns over “echo chambers” aren’t even on my list.

Bigotry is bigotry. It has no place here. The user in question wasn’t banned for defaulting to they/them. She was banned because she was actively blaming the victims of transphobia for the transphobia they received. She isn’t gender diverse herself, she is a cis woman who decided that the people asking for their pronouns to be respected are the real cause of the bigotry we face.

On top of that, she also threw a lot of comments that made it clear what she really things of gender diverse folk. “ attention seeking brats”. “ Younger queers need faux outrage to feel important”, “ if some chud gets all hissy about their pronouns”. “ As a cis lesbian who’s gender nonconforming, I’ve spent years putting up with their pronoun based faux “oppression” temper tantrums out of an effort to be “accepting” only to watch larger society completely flip on us”

tl;dr - a cis woman victim blaming gender diverse folk and gatekeeping them at the same time got banned.

And great that you’re similar in age survived being young and queer better, does that invalidate their experience?

No, age doesn’t invalidate alternative perspectives. That was the very point I was making. The user in question was using her age as an “elder queer” to invalidate the younger queer folk. She clearly included me in the “young queer” category in some of her coments. I pointed out my age to highlight that being an “elder queer” that has been exposed to awful shit isn’t an excuse to invalidate folks.

People didn’t so much “decide” that, as it was used that way by bigots specifically because it was historically only used for animals and objects. They used it as a slur to hurt folks in our community, and like any attempt to reclaim a slur, even though the reclamation is an act of power, there are going to be people who were targetted by the slur who struggle with the concept of reclamation.

Ah yeah. I banned her. Not because she defaults to they/them, but because she was victim blaming queer folk as the cause of their own oppression, and using a lot of thinly veiled insults against gender diverse folk

And for what it’s worth, I’m almost certainly a similar age to her

Dare I ask?

“DEI” is used by bigots as a stand in for “people who aren’t white”. So your “sort of” sarcasm comes across as racist, because no one, bigots or otherwise, means white folk when they’re talking about the importance of diversity.

Ironic racism is still racism, and your intentions don’t matter, because it reads like racism. You’re lucky you didn’t get banned tbh, and the only reason I didn’t do that is because I couldn’t be sure if you were racist, or just made a fucked up comment without realising how it would be interpreted.

Came here to make this joke. Was an hour too late…

Not quite. I’m talking about high ISO images. Most of my photos are not high ISO, so most of my photos don’t need this.

For a professional, they generally don’t shoot in high ISO, because it degrades the image quality. They use external lighting, flashes, reflectors, fast lenses etc, anything and everything they can, to avoid shooting high ISO. So a pro, on a pro shoot, won’t need dedicated noise reduction software, and can use the profiles built in to apps like darktable

Unless you have very peculiar hobbies.

Or you take your photography a bit too seriously! Good noise reduction software is next to impossible to do on Linux. It’s the only reason I have a windows box in my house

It’s definitely not ideal. There should also be a way of making a report for the mods or for the admins