My autocorrect/word suggestion box is white with a slightly less white font.

Anyone else here read Sister, Maiden, Monster?

Wow, you’re almost as old as my mom.

Your social security number is your account balance. How much do you have?

Tra la la, la la la la.

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You can get a piece of oak from a home store. Look for one about 3/4" x 1 1 1/2". Put some tape around where you’ll hold it. The square edges will splay someone open pretty good if things go that direction. And it’s way less obvious as a sign.