But I drew it for the party…

Steve’s Lava Chicken in my ass.

I haven’t had a cigarette since 2014, but I’ll have one now since Gary went through all the trouble.

The hogs will never betray you. If they do, you were never running with the hogs to begin with.

The best burnt-out sign I have come across was in my city back in 2019. It was a huge, red SENTINEL STORAGE sign, but the TO was no longer illuminated, so it left “SENTINELS RAGE” burning ominously in the night.

Here is the absolute shit-tier photo I managed to snap while driving.

I have been there. I have seen him myself. If you too find yourself standing before him, do not fear. Look down. There are so, so, so many hairballs. It is disgusting.

I’m formally launching the #tellthem campaign.

I maintain that if drug-sniffing dogs actually knew what it was that they were doing, none of them would be drug-sniffing dogs.

I fucked my wife in the bathroom window of the Hyatt in Calgary, in front of a beautiful, sprawling downtown core. The trick was to leave the lights off inside the room.

When I was a kid my dad told me not to fuck with the insulation. I fucked with the insulation. I should not have fucked with the insulation.

Menu pizzas (including stuffed crust) from Little Caesars are fucking awesome.

What’s the sexiest shaped bug?

Not that dry.

Wolf pussy just sounds dry as fuck.

This is problematic because you can no longer use your balls as a proper door knocker for your asshole.

That’s the Fart Monster 2k.