Those darn millennials!
Such rascals.

I want the version with all the African fjords.

Okay, but I’m not beautiful. However, my wife and her best friend are (They’re a bonded pair, I couldn’t separate them). So we need like three people, one of whom is willing to take one for the team.

From my recent garage sale:

It’s all part of a plan to avoid the mistake of transitioning to an economy that provides well paying jobs for everyone. It’s time to get back to our roots of manufacturing and agriculture, so we can bring back the good old days that are remembered as warmly as that river that caught fire.

No, that’s Papyrus.

I went through a rough patch awhile back that saw a lot of “yes”’s to things just to keep myself from being still enough to let my thoughts catch up to me.

A friend invited me out one Tuesday night, to a bar within walking distance of our apartments. We got a table on the patio and got deep in our cups late into the night. The vibe had gradually shifted (they put on better music and it felt like the bar slowed down – it relaxed) and I realized something – last call was an hour and a half ago. But drinks had kept flowing - just reappearing while we chatted with the crowd (that was drinking and getting high on the patio) clustered around us. But there was no crowd outside of our group. In fact, all the patrons had gone, and we were apparently just partying with the bar staff, getting to know their life stories. After a spell, I got self conscious and moved to leave. I tried to pay, and they just waved me off.
It was honestly kind of a magical experience. I never did food service or bar work (I chose the retail/manual labor early career skill tree). It felt like a forbidden peek into their lives.

Not that bizarre of an explanation. The workplace is a porn studio. She found that it improves productivity if folks aren’t distracted while working. Seems reasonable.

She didn’t see it until after work started, but gave it a “Haha” response and then asked if both the dogs pooped this morning.

My wife saw him in concert awhile back, but the concert was on a Wednesday, so now I refer to him as “The Wednesday,” and have for years. She finds it funny and annoying and tells me to shut up while giggling.

I sent her this meme. She’s going to be so annoyed when she wakes up.

If I had the capacity to remember the exact URL of a webpage I looked at 20ish years ago, I’d definitely not be working right now. Or anymore.
I’d spend every moment that I’m not full of existential dread from the things I cannot forget sleeping on the comfiest bed that I could buy using the money earned through my horrible burden of unforgettable knowledge.

At some point before the healing brush and patch tools were available, I saw an entire porn gallery (heh, remember when porn came in galleries?) of pixel perfect stitches where someone had joined waists to waists, to create a bunch of concatenated top/top, bottom/bottom images in front, back, and front/back configurations of a naked woman.

Because this was the early days of the internet, all I’d seen was gross, taboo, or unsettling stuff. I was sort of immune to it, but this was definitely my first “confused boner” situation. I still remember my absolute bewilderment. I was way more unsettled by that than goatse or whatever.