HUG

HUUUUUUUG!!!

I don’t see official logos, but assuming this is in the united states, the color scheme would suggest this is actually United.

Although I totally get why you’d assume Spirit. (Or Frontier).

What about me? I’m the opposite. I say EVERYTHING is wrong!!! Not just with me, but with you too. The whole world just seems like a massive dumpster fire.

Everythings wrong with everything and everybody. Fuck Earth!

I’m going to use this on my neice this summer!

Hehehehe, I hope I remember this 5 months from now.

This should be an ad for untitled goose game.

…is there someone inside the stuffed mascot? Because otherwise wouldn’t you still be eating alone?

Based on your username, I like to imagine Mr Magoo is a 70 year old boomer, who masturbates to source material that he claims is just vanilla pictures of naked girls. Then you, as the viewer, see what he’s been masturbating to, and it’s nothing “bad”, but it’s clearly a whole OTHER side to Mr Magoo’s kinks. Just a whole bunch of femboys, and gender swapping porn. Again, not judging.

But the humor would come into play trying to figure out if Mr Magoo is actually the homophobic hateful person he claims to be, and just has bad eyesight (again, it’s Mr Magoo, so it’s plausible), OR does he secretly know EXACTLY what he’s wackin it to, but uses the old hateful man image to cover his reputation if anyone discovers it?

I’d watch that show. Why can’t Adult Swim own the rights to Mr Magoo? They owned the rights to space ghost in the mid 90s, and said “Here, go nuts. We don’t give a fuck.”

DO THAT WITH MR MAGOO!!!

No no, you have that backwards. And also missing a bit of info. It’s more like

Any gender can kiss boys, as long as both parties are consenting.

The consent here is the key thing, not the gender.

I love this. With that ending, I legit can’t tell if you actually momentarily lost your shit, or if the reply too is a shitpost.

When stalin had a heart attack, no doctor dared risking saving him.

Kind of appropriate for America to die of a heart attack.

“The normal amount is zero”

“…since when?”

See, I’ve reached a point of total zen. Which is not as great as it sounds, but compared to this hot garbage, it’s pretty great.

See, my simple trick is, I looked at my life, realized nobody loves me, nobody will ever love me, and everything in life is just me perpetuating the lifestyles of landlords, and billionaire elites. My life doesn’t matter. Your life doesn’t matter. None of this matters. All we’re doing here is being a slave to the system that oppresses the masses for profit at the cost of their suffering.

So when I walk into work, they say “oh, here’s a new rule you have to follow” my response is “Yeah, I’m not doing that. You can all lick my sweaty asshole for even suggesting that.”

And then I go about my day. Doing whatever the fuck I want, because if they want to say anything about it, I remind them that nobody respects their opinion. Nobody likes them. Their time on this planet is in vein. They’ll never be happy, and all their dreams are dead.

Now most people have this mask they wear in public, where they pretend to have their shit together. Where they feel like they’re working towards a goal. Where they envision a life where they’re happy. Where their life has meaning. But I don’t have that mask, and that intimidates people.

Some people think people don’t want to hear the truth. That phrase carries this weight that if someone is telling you the truth about yourself, they’re doing so maliciously. Like the truth is an attack on you.

What most people don’t ever consider is what they feel if someone just tells the truth. Not out of anger. Not as an attack. But rather as a factual nuetral statement. That’s the kind of thing nobody realizes scares them, until they have it happen to them. Just someone coldly telling them that the entirety of Earth doesn’t matter.

So now I just walk around, doing what I want. Nobody bothers me. It’s peaceful. It’s zen. It’s also depressing.

Knowing that happyness can only come from time travel, and magic, and fantasy.

Like, can you imagine traveling back to 1992, and flying on a magic carpet, trying to seduce a 16 year old? Because that’s the plot of Alladin. We only liked that movie because Robin Williams was a treasure. Need proof? Show of hands, who saw the Alladin remake with Will Smith? No? Nobody? Ok. Who would watch a remake of Mrs Doubtfire without Robin Williams? How about Mork & Mindy without him?

These projects on paper sound like a chore to watch. He just brought a talent level that made anything work. Honestly, I wish they had made a Godzilla movie with his face and voice CGI’d only Godzillas head.

He’s just walking around, destroying the city, cracking one liners, as city planners try to stop him. See? That is a terrible idea, but god dammit, you KNOW you want to see it now. You’d go to the theater, and pay for $18 popcorn. And a $20 ticket. And a $12 cup of flat soda.

All to just watch a movie that may as well be called “Robin Williams is Robin Williams for 2 hours as a lizard”.

And ya know what? You just proved my point. You just spent like $50 for a 2 hour movie that you admitted from the begining was a flawed concept to start with. Just paying these billionaires. Like they need your money. This is what the world is. This is the world we built. It’s not going to get any better. Don’t look for improvement in your lifetime. 1000 years ago we used to carve out peoples eyeballs for believing in the wrong invisable man in the sky. And now two nations go to war.

It’s taken 1000+ years to take a half step forward from that. This is just what humans are. This is what the world is.

So you’ll excuse me if I stopped giving a fuck about filling out your little forms to move one set of numbers from one column, to another column, which ultimately has no effect on anything, and nobody will ever check or care.

If your dog is fitting inside your little asshole, there’s a whole dark side of the internet that we don’t need kids to see THOSE videos…

Ok…but the official choices? Those suck.

Hero. Ok. That one’s cool.

Companion. That’s just someone you hang out with. A hobo on the bus is a companion for 20 minutes because he won’t shut up about how working at McDonalds is a life threatening job.

Worker. That’s everybody over the age of 8. What the hell???

Replace Hero with Super Hero. Replace Companion with Champion. And replace Worker with Boss Bitch.

Yeeeaaaaahhhhh!!!

What a terrible day to…you know…exist on this planet.

In high school there was a Chinese girl who hung out with us. We were at at an arcade after school one day, and this guy comes up to her. She’s 16. He’s 40. He says something like “Hey baby, check this out!”

He takes off his shirt to reveal a not at all impressive body. But his chest had something tattood on it in Chinese.

She goes wide eyed, and runs off. When we caught up to her (obviously without the guy) she’s having trouble breathing, because she’s giggling so hard. Just try to visualize that. It’s not a belly laugh, it’s a giggle, but she’s giggling so hard she’s wheezing.

Now she spoke full perfect english, and only had a slight barely noticable accient. But when we asked her what was so funny, she went full stereotype Chinese voice from how amused she was at the tattoo.

“His chest…it say ASSHOOOOEEEE!!!” (She was saying asshole, but I typed it phonetically how she said it, and with the enthusiasm she said it).

She just burried her face in her hands, and had the biggest giggle fit I’ve ever seen. She later said “He must have been an asshole to the tattoo artist. He’ll never know!”

…ya know, I’m 40 years old, and up until this point in my life I’ve never once considered what a giraffe pussy looks like…and my brain isn’t capable of doing so. Maybe that’s a good thing.