I could, but you’re not paying to watch me fail.

Oh god. Jesus, he looks awful.

Good.

Everything was sticky, too. Sometimes you’d put your quarter in the rim above the existing quarter, then after like an hour and half a pizza later, you’d realise your family was alone in the place and nobody had approached the machine. You’d go back and try to pick up the quarters, but the placeholding one was basically glued to the glass by coke and who knows what, obviously having been there for weeks.

Kind of amazing the coin slot didn’t glue itself shut.

Ooohhhh Long Donson!

Thanks for your service.

This image needs to be all over twitter and truth social. Trump hates images like this. I want him to see dozens of copies of this whilst he shits at 3am. Just flood him with it.

e: I can’t spell

‘Carry a laser down the road that I must travel
Carry a laser through the darkness of the night’

I’m saying I’d like to watch it if they actually played the game. I enjoy rugby, for instance, and some hockey.

American football just doesn’t have much actual game in it anymore.

People have been saying that to me for years – often angrily – but honestly, every game I’ve ever seen has been like 5 minutes of game during which a guy touches another guy the wrong way, followed by a foul or something, then at least a half hour of back-to-back replays interspersed with a few guys debating every aspect of the way each guy touched another guy, plus at least ten minutes of advertising, then repeat.

I’m pretty sure even fans wouldn’t disagree with my timing breakdown.

eta: it sounds annoying broken down like that, but I’d argue fans should be annoyed at the industry, rather than at non-fans.