Fundamentalists: “As it says in GOD’S WORD”

God’s Word: “if a foetus is fully formed treat it like a person, if it’s not, don’t”

Fundamentalists: “wait… what”

As the WORD of God he’s the source of Proverbs and Song of Solomon so…

Her: Dark am I, yet lovely, because I am darkened by the sun - Song of Solomon 1

so… tanned

works with eager hands… her arms are strong for her tasks - Proverbs 31

… toned forearms …

Her: Like an apple[c] tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste - Song of Solomon 2

… not opposed to oblique references to pre-marital fellatio …

Her: strengthen me with raisins

… … … nutrition aware(?) …

Her: I am … a lily of the valley … My beloved … browses among the lilies

… not opposed to oblique references to pre-marital cunnilingus … (see also 4:16)

Him: Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead. 2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone. 3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely - Song of Solomon 4

… mysterious eyes … flowing hair … no missing teeth (lol) … red lips …

Him: Your breasts are like two fawns

… young(?), pert, nimble breasts …

Him: You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water

… looks at camera …

Her: Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere

… … my bro was definitely into some sensory stuff …

Her: My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him. I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the bolt. - Song of Solomon 5

(authors of erotic lit take note, this is your lord and god speaking)

Him: I went down to the grove of nut trees to look at the new growth in the valley, to see if the vines had budded or the pomegranates were in bloom. - Song of Solomon 6

… so … pubescent? hey, could be worse …

Him: Your graceful legs are like jewels - Song of Solomon 7

… legs guy! …

Him: Your breasts are like two fawns

… breasts again! …

Him: your breasts like clusters of fruit

… breasts mention number 3 …

Him: May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine

… #4 …

breasts … like towers - Song of Solomon 8

… #5 …

I think you can draw your own conclusions.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

He washed all the disciples feet ;)

Maybe it was like a Tarentino thing. You work with this guy for years and feet keep coming up so one day you ask him and he’s like “yeah ok, I’ve got a foot thing but it’s a personal thing” and you leave it at that but then you remember at the start of your career doing foot photos with him and you’re too embarrassed to ask but you always wonder…

“we heavily biased the network against trains and now it’s just saying the optimal car consists of several metal struts connecting just two thinned out wheels that the driver sits on top of and propels themselves using pedals. It was busy redesigning intersections to have clear safe lanes for these bi-cycle ‘cars’ with plenty of trees / room for pedestrians when we pulled the plug…”