But can I get slaughtered by a mythological creature? Because bigfoot is too damned shy to kill anyone over here, and I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

That’s what happens when you drink straight from the orange tap.

Don’t you know that it’s elitist to know how to art? Just ask all those primitive humans arting all over cave walls for thousands of years.

And wobbly.

OP: Nothing’s better than AI art!

Me: counts fingers suspiciously

What even is that? I see fries, gravy, canned peas and a hot dog? Is that right? Because £4 is overpaying. Currently that’s $5.31 in Freedom Funnbux. Definitely overpaid for that.

Hemorrhoids: Am I a joke to you?

Oh yeah, that’s some classic shit right there.

Y’all better explain because Donner means something else in americanese.

Robot: please remain calm, I’m here to assist you.

Patient: you’re choking me!

Robot: squeezes harder

Is this what the kids these days call “rizz?”

1 is already very similar to my pen of choice, and 2 used to be my pen of choice. So depending on how they feel, one of them.

tHe bEsT PeOpLe

I love how the government is now just assholes in a shitty group chat.

This spell has mixed results with my fiance; she LOVES cheese but is horribly allergic to it. Not life-threatening, but painfully bad.

Truly a horrid fate. But at least it’s better than Rap Hell.

Prismatic Spray. That shit didn’t fuck around.

Sometimes if you do a job badly enough they don’t ask you to do it anymore.

-Calvin

And that’s the day I quit.