You’re still capable of feeling joy on the inside?

When I got my dog at the shelter, they told me two things about him:

• He liked to eat garbage.

• He liked being held like a baby.

He was a good size for it too, about 30 lbs. Big enough for a real hug, but not too heavy to lift comfortably. He would press his neck against mine when I held him - I think that was his way of reciprocating. The funny thing is that he was jealous about my hugs. If I hugged another person, he would whine, stand on his hind legs, and try to push that person away from me with his front legs.

I’m not a bee, you’re not a bee, so it sounds like a them problem.

(On the internet, nobody knows you’re a bee.)

I think that is the most based I have ever seen a machine be. Soon AI will be more based than any human.

You’re doing exactly what he is asking you not to.

Except it’s not just some guy vandalizing a car, or else you wouldn’t be making memes about it.

Just fill your living room with radioactive waste and they’ll come put this sign up for free.

Well, the question was probably disingenuous. There may not be any stupid questions but there are questions intended to start arguments about politics.

If I wanted to be constrained by flesh and bone then I’d be looking at 3D porn.

No, he was even bigger and he has been shrinking.

You can hang on to the penis of someone who’s climbing.

Yes, but even Skynet would probably like me better than the average woman does. Skynet > human woman > AM.

(I never know if explicitly saying that I’m not being serious is necessary on the internet or just ruins the joke, but here I’m going to ruin the joke.)

I’ve lost you? But we were meant to be together!

Meeting humans is intolerable, but my hope is that with AI technology advancing as rapidly as it is, soon I will be able to assemble the right robot for me…

That shark was trying to save us from ourselves.

Chickpeas are my favorite. I enjoy the taste of them right out of the can. They dry ones are also good if soaked overnight in cold water and then eaten without further preparation. They become pleasantly crunchy, like nuts.

I’m probably going to sound like a space alien, but enough beans to feed a grown man costs two dollars a day. The beans are nutritious and relatively palatable. When I’m left to my own devices, I eat mostly beans. Because I’m rich, I buy the canned ones so that I don’t need to cook.

Is this spot fine?

Clearly it isn’t.

Of course, thank you!

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